Dehydrated Wallet

There are some dirty, greedy people out there and unfortunately, I know some. Richard Patrick (1968-)

Prelude

People can't live without certain requirements. Food, water, and shelter that come to mind. The homeless attempt to survive but sooner or later they need those essentials. However, we can't forget about one other very important item that controls a lot of peoples' lives. It's a crazy little thing called money. Everyone loves money, I know I certainly do. It's impossible to exist without moolah. All of us come from the same mold when it comes to cash. We spend our money on necessities and once in a while we may treat ourselves to the "finer things in life".

Every so often we are committed to paying what I call authorized thievery. Unlike government extortion (we have no choice than to cough up our hard-earned wages) authorized thievery is a system that dictates in a simple format. Most of the time it's a straight forward and uncomplicated business transaction, easy as ABC. Humans will be given an option, pay or don't pay and I'm not talking about buying a TV or computer.

Back in March of 2015 my car's muffler system became defective (or so I was told) so I took my vehicle to Speedy Auto Service, previously known as Speedy Muffler King. To make a long story short I spent $1,045.00 when the "work" was completed. Then in January 2019, my exhaust system became noisy once again. So I went back to Speedy. This time $280.00 instantly disintegrated out of my wallet. Of course, very conveniently, there wasn't any warranty on the faulty part. In March 2019 I heard a noise again, yes again, from my muffler system so once again I paid Speedy another visit. I figured the system has to be under some sort of guarantee. As usual, the Speedy employee drove my car into the shop and raised it on the hoist. The technician speedily (no pun intended) showed me the problem.

Moments later I received a quote of $650 from the manager. Needless to say, I was ready to lose it...I was fucking livid and my blood was sizzling. But I didn't show my anger and frustration. I mentioned to the employee I'd already spent $1300 and asked him if anything was under warranty. He told me the part that needed to be replaced was, but only for two years. It had been four years since the original work was done. Immediately I thought how well-timed this was for this business. With an evil and unhappy look on my face, I asked him, "If I get this fixed now and if it requires restoring in another three or four years I'll be paying you another $650?" He nodded his head and replied "Yes." As I stormed out of the office I looked at him and said, "You just don't want to give anyone a break." As I drove away I said out loud, "What a bunch of money grabbing fuckers."

I seriously thought of standing in front of their shop holding a large sign which would've read SPEEDY IS A RIP-OFF but I decided against it. Remember Speedy's old phrase, AT SPEEDY YOU'RE A SOMEBODY. Obviously, that motto has been sunk to the bottom of the ocean. A more appropriate slogan, At Speedy, Your Money Is A Somebody.

I decided to take my car to my honest and trusted mechanics I have been dealing with for twenty-five years. I have sound assurance about them. I have so much confidence in their knowledge I purchase my automobiles from their shop. I showed one of the owners my $1,000.00 Speedy bill from 2015 and he shook his head. He told me they performed a lot of unnecessary work. Once again I thought Speedy was nothing more than a bunch of scuzzbags putting it to the "average Joe". Anyway, my mechanic fixed my exhaust problem. His price was a far cry from Speedy's (Rip Off Car Clinic) $650.00...he charged me $80.00.

I absolutely have no liking for Bell. I also label them as an authorized thievery establishment. My decision to deal with them is because Canadians are extremely limited to our phone, computer and television networks. Speaking of phones and internet service, I pay a suffocating price of $145.00 a month for my telephone and internet. And by the way, I don't have call display. Bell is just another outfit that loves to scam the consumer. I have always taken exception to them but what really opened up my eyes about these bandits happened a few years ago. I was without my land line for five days. This pathetic so-called enterprise had me talking to their annoying call centers in San Salvador and El Salvador. I was really surprised I wasn't chit-chatting to someone on Jupiter or Neptune. I wrote the C.R.T.C. (Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission) and a letter via my M.P. (Member of Parliament) explaining the stress and irritation the bush league moronic dipsticks had put me through. I also asked for some sort of compensation for my time without a phone. The cynical cheats had the audacity to offer me seven dollars for my inconvenience.

One more quick story about the Bell racket that I experienced just recently. I had to phone my sister-in-law (who lives in Whitby, Ontario) on three separate occasions. When I received my bill these people charged me fifty-two dollars for long distance charges. Each call was about fifteen minutes. Bell certainly doesn't believe in little perks for their long "devoted" customers. Maybe one day we'll see a lot more competition in this field. But if you ask me I doubt it, remember this is Canada.

Over the years most of us were quite aware of doctors charging their patients for return to work notes. To my surprise, the physicians have produced many money grabbing schemes. One I discovered not too long ago was my G.P. is now charging fifteen dollars for a prescription for orthotics. The procedure used to be I would phone my doctor and he would fax Bio-Ped with the scrip. Nice and simple. But oh, how those days are quickly changing. Now I have to drive out to Ancaster, pay fifteen dollars and pick up my scrip. For me, it's a seventeen-kilometer round trip. People might say that's not bad. Well, it is considering I never had to do that before. My Doc's secretary tried to "ease" the irritation by saying other doctors are demanding twenty-five dollars. Oh, golly gee! I'm getting a real good deal. I should stand on my head and spit nickels. So what's next with our doctors. Will they start charging a fee to renew blood pressure pills? Stay tuned, things are happening too fast.

Epilogue

It's very hard to hold on to our money because everyone wants it. If the government isn't performing their extortion game (the ridiculous carbon tax and the possible idiotic soda pop tax) numerous businesses and services will seriously want to fill their pockets with your cash. A lot of us are ignorant on certain issues, like me for example about automobiles and some of these despicable crooks know that. Sometimes our free enterprise system has some selfish and greedy individuals attached to the structure. I'm all for capitalism but sometimes it must be modulated.

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project
Puritan will return with "The Bungling Bunch Rides Again"

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Editor's note: an alternate view. Money is the root of all good.

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The Handyman's Tale

Leukophobia - Find a Cure.

Another Piece of Reality

It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. J.K. Rowling (1965-)

Prelude

Women have readily made advances for equal opportunities, especially in the workplace. Decades ago we would've never thought of the female gender toiling in blue-collar jobs such as firefighter, bus driver, heavy equipment operator or the trades. Their jobs were limited to secretaries, registered nurses, school teachers, cashiers, retail sales and waitresses. In 1960 women entered the workforce in sizeable amounts. In 1967 49% of mothers stayed at home while that number decreased to 29% in 2012.

Years ago women were stereotyped as just mothers and housewives. However, a lot of females worked in factories during World War 2. My mother (R.I.P. and God rest your soul) worked various jobs starting at fifteen years of age and retired as a bookkeeper. My E.A. (Executive Assistant) also started working when she was fifteen and retired as an Accident Benefits Specialist for an insurance company.

Nowadays more than just a few single mothers (and single fathers) are forced to perform double duty. What I mean by that is they're required to take care of their children and work for a living. Sadly the world is cancerous with divorce and there will always be some deadbeat fathers. I do admit some of the monthly child support payments are astronomical but the heart of the matter is "it takes two to tango" and the bottom line is it's the man's responsibility to help pay for some of the child expenses. Sometimes divorced couples will arrive at a mutual agreement for monthly installments from the father.

Years ago friends of mine encountered a nasty divorce. I won't get into details but what I've heard over the years (from extremely reliable sources) the father was contributing very little and sometimes nothing to financially assist his ex-wife and three children. In spite of that, the mother didn't go crying to the government. Instead, she found it within herself to raise her children working exceptionally hard, which included working a lot of extra night and weekend shifts. Over the years she did a magnificent job. I have met her children and I can honestly say they are respectful, courteous and wonderful young adults. Undoubtedly and without question, my friend is an excellent mother. She is a self-respecting individual, nothing less than a complete trooper. I tip my hat to her.

While I was working in the Traffic Department I learned never underestimate a woman regarding her physical abilities. My job was a two-person task. My partner and I would dig large holes so various types of signs would be erected into a steel insert. Once the insert was in the hole we would pour cement to secure it. Other times the job consisted of digging holes to erect signs onto 4"x4" and 6"x6" pressure treated wooden posts. A high majority of the time the digging would consist of breaking the ground with a large pry bar because the dirt was hard as rock.

In late spring, summer students were hired and partnered up with full-time employees. Out of all the student colleagues that worked with me I can honestly say the best co-worker was a twenty-one-year-old female student. It didn't take me long to make the assessment she was a far more superior worker than her male student counterparts. Furthermore, I came to the conclusion she could definitely "take care of herself", she was a black belt judo expert.

In 2001 I worked for the Sanitation Department for the City of Hamilton, Ontario. Putting it simply, I was a garbage man. Two women were included in the full-time complement. Once again, these ladies were excellent workers. I hated every minute of my job. It was very physically challenging, constantly bending over and lifting twenty, thirty and forty pound bags of waste. It was also hard on the knees, arms and back. The continuous stepping up and down from the truck could cause severe discomfort, especially in the knees. It was hard to believe the amount of daily garbage for every truck was anywhere from twenty-one to twenty-five tons. Each individual threw for one hour intervals. There was more than a few times I would throw for the entire shift. Working in the heat, rain, and cold wasn't any picnic either. But what I found to be my ultimate dislike was the monotony. Day in and day out, week in and week out nothing changed. The repetition was overwhelming. My stint only lasted for six months but it was certainly a real eye-opener for me. The experience made me appreciate a refuse collector's job a lot more than I did before and especially the women associated with that department.

Since I retired I have created a good relationship with the folks who pick up our garbage. Every July and a week before Christmas I give them six Coors Light "Tall Boys" cans of beer. They are always grateful for my gift and they always "look after me." I never had given the "Blue Box" folks a token of my appreciation until March 2019. One of the regular employees who pick up our recyclables is female. My E.A. and I call her "Honey". She is extremely petite. You could almost say a gust of wind could very easily pick her up and toss the lady ten feet into the air. I'm guessing her age is in the late twenties or early thirties. "Honey" also has a hang up for body art because she has tattoo sleeves on both arms.

One day my E.A. and I received a chuckle from "Honey." She was throwing and the truck stopped in from of my neighbour's house which had three full blue boxes. She grabbed two of them and emptied the refuse into the back of the truck. When she threw the boxes back onto the lawn the truck proceeded to the next house. "Honey" had a very irate and frustrated look on her face. Within a second she shouted, "Hey, what are you doing?" The driver immediately noticed there was still a full blue box. As he backed up the truck our little blue box girl said in an angry tone, "I only have two hands you know." She emptied the remaining box into the truck and continued on her "cheerful" way.

Whenever I see "Honey" working she usually looks gloomy and unhappy. I'm willing to bet five will get you ten she hates her job. I have total empathy for her. I realize people receive payment for their work and some jobs pay a much higher dollar than minimum wage for unskilled labour. I felt compassion for "Honey" during the freezing rain days we experienced in February 2019. Now you might be saying, what about the other folks who were required to work outside in those conditions, what about them Puritan? True enough. However, the difference was I saw her with my own eyes and maybe I just felt sorry for her because of her size. Or maybe I'm just an old softie. Anyway, two weeks later I gave "Honey" a bottle of red wine and told her how sympathetic I am.

Epilogue

Human nature operates in mysterious ways. At times we misjudge the talent, skill, ability, and determination of many women. There is no denying, numerous women can perform a decent and satisfactory job on tasks that were once labeled as man's work. If the "weaker sex" are willing to forgo the makeup, the traditional nine to five career and get their hands dirty there is a golden window of opportunity for them. Once again, welcome to the real world.

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project

Puritan will return with "The Dehydrated Wallet."

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Beep

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. Potter Stewart (1915-1985)
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak because a baby can't chew. Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself. Dick Cavett (1936-)
Censorship is advertising paid by the government. Federico Fellini (1920-1993)

Prelude

The Oxford Canadian Dictionary of Current English defines censorship as the practice of officially examining books, movies, etc. and suppressing unacceptable parts. The government in all it's forceful operations and actions designate themselves as overseer and decide what the population can watch or listen to. The watchful eyes and ears of the regime are unyielding to allow the people to eyeball and hear certain words and scenes on television. Ruling and controlling the citizens the way they feel is fit for all of us.

According to Wikipedia censorship started in 399 B.C. when Socrates refused attempts by the Greek state to censor his teachings and was sentenced to death by drinking poison. Although censorship covers a wide range of topics, I will sound off about editing out in the media, specifically television.

Our big brother lookout in Canada is called the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission or better known as the C.R.T.C. It's a public organization and was created in 1976 which took over responsibility for regulating telecommunications carriers. The agency is operated by thirteen people who are appointed by the Canadian Cabinet and has their headquarters located in Gatineau, Quebec.

I despise T.V. censorship and it infuriates me to no end when I see it happen right before my eyes or ears. I pay $115 a month for my satellite dish and it makes my blood boil when suddenly a word or part of a scene is deleted. For example, I was watching the 2004 movie "Sex and the City" on Slice T.V. who are based out of Toronto, Ontario. My E.A. (Executive Assistant) and I were huge fans of the series and we both agreed the film was excellent.

Just prior to the movie starting the content warning was displayed. It stated the movie contained adult situations, sex, nudity, and coarse language. It also declared viewer discretion was advised. I thought this is typical and so the viewing audience has been warned. It's such a simple decision, watch or doesn't watch, it's the individual's choice. But for some sickening and disgusting reason, the warning was just not good enough.

Ten minutes into the movie the "F" word had been removed twice compliments of the C.R.T.C. so my satellite provider told me. So the C.R.T.C. was starting to "cleanse" the movie. In all honesty, I couldn't believe it. These rulers with unrestricted authority just aren't satisfied with the visible warning but also want to weaken or maybe even ruin the movie for the viewers. Think about it. What gives them the right to spoil our leisure and relaxation time? Downright shameful. The "F" word usage in this movie (like most other films) is very appropriate. I will describe one scene.

Mr. Big and Carrie are moments away from getting married when suddenly Big has pre-wedding anxiety and reneges on the marriage. As he drives away in his limo Big realizes he has made a huge mistake and says, "Fuck, what am I doing?" and immediately orders his driver to turn around and head back to the gala occasion. Big knew he screwed up. The "F" word emphasizes his emotion of the situation and stresses his blunder is entirely wrong. It sounds a lot better than just saying, "What am I doing?"

I would also like to use the 1986 Academy Award for Best Picture, "Platoon" as another case in point. It's the Vietnam war and the film focuses on a platoon of soldiers, many of them, some fresh out of high school, fighting a war halfway around the world. Of course, the "F" word will be plentiful, it's obvious, it's a no-brainer. Once again the "F" word will enhance the realism of the movie. But sadly enough the C.R.T.C. screenplay police will hide from our virgin ears that horrendous and dreadful "F" word.

I ask myself what is the C.R.T.C. trying to accomplish (besides annoying individuals) with this utter nonsense. I would really enjoy hearing their "reasoning." Maybe their "logic" is in the same "thinking" as the ridiculous philosophy of the Liquor Control Board of Ontario when they proclaim the purpose for high alcohol prices is social responsibility. What a bunch of bullshit that is.

Maybe the auditory enforcers are trying to keep our young people from hearing those hideous words. However, five will get you ten if you walk by a group of teenagers it will be noticed that their dialogue is very well lubricated with the "F" word.

Epilogue

Sometimes I wonder how free we really are. Sure, we have more autonomy and democracy than North Korea, Iran or China but either way you look at it, people are under government control. We can watch or listen to our favourite shows but be aware you might hear that beep noise. Government doesn't like it so we're forced not to hear it. They treat us like children but we must remember the C.R.T.C. knows what is good and moral for all us grown-ups. They're like the rest of government, they truly care about us. With a beep beep here and a beep beep there, here a beep, there a beep, everywhere a beep beep. They have the expertise to know what is acceptable for adults. I'm a big kid now.

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project
Puritan will return with "Another Piece of Reality"

A Special Treasure

Children re-invent your world for you. Susan Sarandon (1946-)

A child is an uncut diamond. Austin O'Malley (1858-1932)

Seven things every child needs to hear: I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm sorry, I forgive you, I'm listening. This is your responsibility. You have what it takes to succeed. Sherrie Campbell PhD. (Birthdate unknown)

Prelude

Seconds tick into a minute, minutes flow into an hour, hours revolve into a day, days drift into a month and months proceed into a year. It's certainly amazing time stops for nothing, unbroken and continuous. What's even more staggering is the older we age the faster time moves along. I don't know if it's just my judgment but I found the past two years (2017, 2018) have elapsed by in a fast moving pace. My grade twelve geography teacher was undoubtedly correct when she stated to her class in 1973, "The older you get, the faster time goes by".

Most folks marry or live common-law and a very high number have children through conception or adoption. I suspect it's almost ninety percent. I was married in 1986 and divorced in 1997. I had two boys who will be thirty-one and twenty-nine in 2019. A lot of us have children in that age bracket.

Do you ever have the sense it feels like yesterday when we were mixing baby formula and changing diapers? Or how about shopping for baby food and clothes or celebrating your child's first birthday?

I think it's safe to say a lot of parents escorted their kids trick or treating...a lot still do. I did even when I was divorced and enjoyed every minute of it...it was a lot of fun. I recall one year I had to lug my youngest son's pillowcase that was full of candy...it was just too heavy for him to carry. One of the numerous duties in the job description of being a father.

Some parents have extremely horrible and dreadful circumstances when their baby was born. When I retired I obtained a part-time job delivering prescription medications to a pharmacy's customers. I remember one client that always had my heart cry for her. It was a regular delivery (once or twice a month) of canned liquid protein nourishment, usually five or six cases with twelve cans in each case. The "food" was for a lady's ten-year-old son who was confined to a wheelchair. He would sit in front of the T.V. set watching cartoons. His body was always and constantly motionless with his head tiled to the right. It was truly heartbreaking and painful to witness. What was even more agonizing and upsetting is that young boy will never experience what other children have in their lives such as friends, going to school and playing sports. So sad.

Back in 1988 my ex-wife and I received a memorable scare when our first son was born. He was two months premature and if that wasn't frightful enough he had a chance of becoming severely brain damaged or die. He laid in an incubator with numerous tubes and wires attached to his tiny body. I say tiny because he was the size of my right hand.

It was disheartening enough that he was a premie but the possibility of brain damage or death was truly traumatizing. His body was also jaundiced which completely puzzled the doctors. However, one specialist assured my wife and I they would track down the source of my son's mysterious illness.

The staff were true to their word and finally diagnosed my son's problem as a vitamin E deficiency. He received a blood transfusion (good thing there wasn't any Jehovah Witnesses present) and over a period of time he became a healthy baby. Today he is six feet, four inches tall and a solid 230 lbs. His sickness was unquestionably unique, so unusual a doctor told me there was an article in The New England Journal of Medicine about my son's dilemma. Overall an outstanding and sensational job performed by all the staff at the neonatal ward at McMaster Hospital in Hamilton, Ontario.

People say history doesn't repeat itself but sometimes it inches in through the back door and people will say, "Oh no. Not this again." When my second son was born in 1990 he entered the world two months premature and the size of my right hand. Once again my ex-wife and I were frightened and afraid. Who would ever have thought we'd be observing another premie rerun. As usual, his minute body laid in an incubator with tubes and wires attached to his tiny frame. Fortunately, he was basically healthy. The only problem, he was eager to see the world before "regular" newborns. As usual, we had all the faith, trust and confidence with the entire staff in the neonatal ward at McMaster Hospital in Hamilton, Ontario. Today my second son is very healthy, stands six feet, two inches tall and weighs 190 lbs.

Adversely not all parents have successful and cheerful results le we experienced. According to The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine 150,000 babies are born each year with birth defects and 3% of all children born in the U.S. have a major malformation at birth.

Tragedy doesn't always occur at birth. Gut-wrenching and horrible situations may strike at any time. In particular my E.A.'s (Executive Assistant) 13 year old niece passing away from cancer or my long time and good friend's son being labelled with schizophrenia in his late teen years. Sadly some parents can't rejoice with their children because their child was taken away from them for some godforsaken and unknown reason. There is no rhyme or reason how the circle of life is cut short for certain individuals.

Our kids can give us great pleasure, a lot of happiness and enjoyment but when they reach adolescence some youths may become very rebellious towards their parents. Nevertheless we must not forget we were that age at one time in our lives giving our parents a difficult and exhausting stretches of our nasty behaviour. In general it's just a small chapter in most kids' lives. Their teen years may be troublesome but chances are they will outgrow their wayward actions. We did.

Personally, I think a high majority of kids especially teenagers don't receive enough good publicity. Most of them are decent, respectable and courteous. Let's take a look at high school kids for a moment. For more than a few years many considerate, thoughtful and kind-hearted youths from S.T.M. (St. Thomas Moore) Secondary School in Hamilton, Ontario volunteer their time on Halloween night for a worthy cause. About a week prior to that "spooky" evening the students would place flyers in home owner's mailboxes.

The circulars explained the high schoolers would be collecting non-perishable food items for a food bank. If people were interested in donating they were to leave their contribution on the front porch of their homes. The students would pick up the offerings prior to the ghosts and goblins invading the neighbourhoods.

We always provide the needy cause with two or three canned goods. Last year I offered a tooney (two dollar coin) to one of the girls. The reason for my gesture, I explained to her, I thought it was a wonderful and magnificent job she and her fellow students were performing. I was amazed she refused my token of appreciation. I verbally tried to persuade her to accept my monetary gift but she was absolutely adamant and rejected my gratuity. She told me the students aren't allowed to take any money. Undoubtedly I admire and respect these young people. I tip my hat to them.

Another event that involves good-hearted high school kids is the annual Terry Fox walk and run at Sherwood Secondary School in Hamilton, Ontario. Most of the student body participates in the event that has been going on for 23 years and raises about $1,500 a year. Once again the high school unsung crusaders.

I never imagined my guys working full time and owning automobiles. One day you're changing their diapers and the next day they are out with their buddies having a few beers. The time hasn't come for me, yet, but it's another chapter in our lives when we are given new names, Grandpa and Grandma.

Epilogue

I'm extremely proud of my dudes. They work hard for a living, are law-abiding and responsible mature adults. I hope other individuals can say the same about their children. Some folks have encountered sunny and rainy days raising their kids but in the long run everything usually works out. So here's a suggestion for moms and dads who have children. Next time your child/children are around give them a big hug. Why you ask? Because they're wonderful kids and tomorrow is here before you know it,

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project
Puritan will return with "Beep"

Jeepers Sneakers

A satisfied customer is the best business strategy of all.

Michael LeBoeuf (1942-)

Prelude

We take a lot of things for granted including our wardrobe and specifically our footwear. There are numerous stores that sell all sorts of women's and men's clothes with a wide variety of style. We can purchase casual or formal attire and if a consumer shops around enough they may obtain a decent price for what they're looking for. However, it appears there are more specialty boutiques catering to women's fashion than there are shops for men.

Back in 2010, I was experiencing a stabbing and piercing pain in the sole of my right heel. At times the discomfort was unbearable...irritating so badly I had difficulty walking. I paid a visit to my family doctor and he immediately diagnosed my problem as Plantar Fasciitis. The following is from the Mayo Clinic: Plantar Fasciitis is a heel pain that involves inflammation of a thick band of tissue that runs across the bottom of your foot and connects your heel bone to your toes. My physician gave me a written prescription to Bio Ped.

Bio Ped is a recognized and reputable foot care establishment. After two visits I walked out of their store wearing custom made orthotics in my running shoes. Orthotics are molded plastic inserts placed inside both shoes. They were a miracle. I can truly say I've never encountered that agony since wearing the orthotics. Now if I can just eliminate my gout.

The Bio Ped employee that served me was tremendously professional and courteous. She strongly suggested to me I purchase a certain type of running shoe called New Balance 623. Being the foot care specialist and expert she was I agreed to her recommendation and bought the shoes. They turned out to be an excellent investment. They were a superb, terrific and comfortable fitting running shoe.

I wear a size eleven 4E. Usually I've never had any difficulty buying my specific running shoes until 2017. I required a new pair and drove to National Sports on Upper Wentworth Street in Hamilton, Ontario. I also hiked across the street to Sport Check located in Limeridge Mall. My shoes were on sale at both stores for seventy dollars, regularly one hundred dollars and sometimes more. Unfortunately either store didn't have my size in stock. However, the salespeople at both outlets assured me they receive shipments every day and proposed I check back periodically. I accepted their advice and returned three days later to both stores.

My visits to both spots was increasing my mood of disappointment and complete discouragement. At Sport Check they still didn't have my size. The sales clerk offered to phone Eastgate Square in east Hamilton and Oakville, Ontario to find out if they had my correct size. I asked the saleswoman if they do have my size can they ship the shoes to this store. Her reply was simple. No we don't do that. Nevertheless she did mention I could order the shoes online and she would initiate the transaction but it was up to me to finish the order. I declined and walked out of the store extremely pissed off. And on top of that I wasn't driving to Eastgate Square and certainly not Oakville (58.7 km's/36.5 miles).

I drove across the street to National Sports and noticed "my" running shoes were still on sale (as they were at Sports Check also). Once again I asked the sales associate if my size was available. He walked into the stock room and quickly returned with the same old story. I asked him if he would order a pair for me and guess what his reply was...we don't do that. That term seems to a regular phrase. Then he added some additional disturbing news. His store doesn't receive my type of shoe in a 4E. This time I walked out of the store irate and livid.

I felt I was in a no-win situation but what really infuriated me was the lack of customer relations both stores had. In my mind their fucking policies stink. I wasn't going to settle for any other type of running shoe. New Balance 623 are by far the utmost comfortable pair of running shoes I have ever owned. Straightforwardly speaking they are without a doubt the finest home for my feet. So I decided to phone my orthotics gal at Bop Ped and ask her to recommend a running shoe at her business. The phone call was successful. She would order a pair of New Balance 623 running shoes for me and the cost would be one hundred dollars. Obviously I was very happy and gave her the green light.

Perhaps you might be asking yourself what's wrong with ordering items online. Five will get you ten we all agree the brilliance and intelligence of computer hackers is unlimited. Their understanding and knowledge of that device is amazing. For those reasons I'm very leery and skeptical of conducting business affairs online. And of course I'm the first to admit I'm a downright moron when it comes to computers. You could almost say they intimidate me.

I've noticed in the past ten or more years (you probably have also) when individuals inquire or purchase an item or service a very high majority of sales representatives will say, "have a good day" as the customer is about to leave. If I remember correctly that phrase "have a good day" originated in the United States long before Canadians started that lingo.

I would like to share the following true story with you. In the spring of 1985 a friend and I attended the University of Texas spring football camp in Austin, Texas for one week. We arrived on a Sunday and returned home on the following Sunday. Since the camp's practice sessions were a steady days, weekends off event I decided to partake in some shopping on the Saturday. I was focused on acquiring items for my girlfriend (she wasn't present on the trip) who later on became my wife and then my ex-wife.

I was browsing through a large mall and walked into a department store's jewellery section. I saw a beautiful woman's gold chain with a gold state of Texas pendent attached to the necklace. I was eager to buy it but noticed it was pricey. My cash flow had decreased immensely and it didn't help the exchange rate was forty percent. I asked the saleswoman if I could see the necklace and she removed it from the display case. She stated it goes on sale Monday with sixty-five percent off.

Now this is how my twenty seconds of fame occurred. Puritan - Damn. That's too bad. I'm from Canada and I'm returning home tomorrow.
Saleswoman - You look familiar. I recognize your face. I saw your picture in the paper. You're visiting the Texas football camp.
Puritan - Yeah that was me.
Saleswoman - Since you're leaving tomorrow I'll give you the discount price on the necklace today.
Puritan - That would be fantastic. Thank you very much.

The Austin American - Statesman newspaper wrote an article about my friend and I attending the football camp. The feature also had a picture of us and Head Coach Fred Akers. You have to admit it's not every day two Canuks fly to Austin (1412 miles/2275 km's) to watch the Longhorns practice.

In my opinion the sales clerk went out on a limb. Furthermore she demonstrated excellent, top quality and first class customer relations. I still wonder if that situation was to take place in Ontario would the same result transpire?

Epilogue

In my opinion National Sports and Sports Check are prime examples of two large enterprises that really don't give a rat's ass about going that extra mile for their customers. As far as I'm concerned the customer relations, well, they don't have any. Maybe one day they may encounter liquidation. I wonder how they would react to their final dance and last hurrah. Is it possible they may ask themselves why did this happen?

The End

The Havenut Puritan Project
Puritan will return with
A Joyful Delight

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Christmas Erosion

Hello folks, Puritan here. I hope everyone is doing well. It's hard to believe another year has elapsed and again I ask myself where has 2018 vanished to. It casually glided in and felt like it zoomed out like a cat running away from a dog. Anyway, it's that time of year again for all of us to take our glasses off and let our hair hang down. Hopefully, each one of us will obtain the festive mood of Christmas to hang loose and chill out.

As usual, the year had many disturbing events from all levels of government. Our juvenile and please take my picture Prime Minister gave a handsome reward to an ex I.S.I.S. savage...only in Canada, you say? Absolutely disgraceful and totally disgusting.

Finally a lot of once brain-dead Liberal voters finally came to their senses and decided they had enough of the shameful and deceitful Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, they ousted her. However her reign, misconduct and dishonesty, she managed to waste billions and billions of taxpayers dollars according to Auditor General Bonnie Lysyk. As far as I'm concerned Wynne is an embezzler and should serve a lengthy prison sentence...I think life without parole would be appropriate. The authorities should also incarcerate her predecessor Daulton McGuilty and serve a prolonged prison stint. Life without parole sounds good to me.

And of course, I can't forget about the circus returning to Hamilton, Ontario council chambers on Dec. 3/18. The big top "performers" didn't waste any time raising our water tax even though the tricksters had an $18 million surplus from last year's budget...routinely screwing the taxpayer again. It seems each year these jokers have a set figure tattooed into their brains of 4.5 or 4.6 percent for a water increase. Let's not forget about the L.R.T. (Light Rail Transit). If that ridiculous and foolish nonsense flies all I can say is God help us. Maybe in the future the bozo's who continuously elect these councilors will finally wake up from their comatose state and choose individuals who know what they're doing.

In the past decade, I can truly say things are becoming coo-coo. I'm not referring to politics but how moronic busy bodies thrive to attempt and change our thinking and traditions. My long-time good friend Uncle Block sent me a very annoying e-mail. It was about a Cleveland, Ohio radio station banning the 1944 Christmas song, "Baby It's Cold Outside". Supposedly some unsound people phoned the station to complain...they insisted the song resembled date rape.

Another good friend sent me an additional e-mail. A meddler by the name of Dan Joseph had students at a Virginia University sign a petition to ban the all-time classic 1942 Christmas song, "White Christmas" because it was racist. I suggest Mr. Joseph return to the institution and have his medication increased.

Then we have a twit by the name of Kyna Hamill who is a Boston University professor. In 2017 the dipstick maintained the 1850 first-rate Christmas song, "Jingle Bells" is racist.

Last, but not least, there is control freak Jennifer Sinclair, an elementary school principal in Elkhorn, Nebraska. She demanded candy canes be disallowed in her school because the shape had a look of a J for Jesus, the red is the blood for Christ and the white is a symbol of resurrection. Other objects prohibited by this autocratic lunatic were Christmas trees, a Santa, reindeer as well as green and red items. Thank goodness the school board placed this power hungry bone head on administrative leave. She's another tyrant who should be committed.

I shake my head in disgust and anger thinking what makes these pinheads' brains tick. Are they bored with their lives? Do they have too much time on their hands? What right do these morons have to have the audacity to censor and control our lives. These shitheads are like dictators...if they don't like it then no one will like it...censorship for everyone. It makes me wonder what happened to these people when they were "growing up." Did they have an uneasy childhood and this I their way of seeking attention or did they fall out of a tree and hit their head?

Of course, Christmas wouldn't be the same without hearing John Lennon's (1940-1980) tune, "So This Is Christmas" and watching the commercials related to his song. Without a doubt it is extremely sad there are all sorts of misery occurring in third world countries. Once again I become very annoyed of the U.N. (United Nations). The organization was established on Oct. 24/1945 to combat and eliminate poverty-stricken nations. The conglomerate insists countries "donate" money to fight the developing kingdom's hardships. As far as I'm concerned their track record is an utmost failure. Maybe Lennon's song should be changed to, "So This Is The U.N. and What Have You Done?"

Epilogue

It's very bothersome that a holiday custom is being undermined at a steady rate. So folks all I can say if you want to listen to "Baby It's Cold Outside", "Jingle Bells", and "White Christmas" as well as indulge in eating candy canes, be my guest. And for some pathetic reason if anyone wants to challenge your behaviour you know what to say...GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Have a good one.

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project
Puritan will return in 2019

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Perpetual Illogicality

Prelude

Most of us have moral standards and use common sense. A lot of us are fundamentally honest, respectable and law-abiding. We indulge in our daily activities without inconveniencing and irritating other people...in simple words, we just do our own thing. Usually, human beings are allowed to make decisions for themselves whether it's determining what colour they should paint their kitchen or making a more serious resolution such as skydiving. But then we have a government who takes extreme pleasure in making choices for the populace, for some bizarre purpose they "think" it's their social obligation to the citizens.

The government's viewpoint on smoking has always baffled and puzzled me. They are constantly and aggressively "advising" us how harmful smoking is, not just to smokers but to the folks who breathe in second-hand smoke. However, the "leadership" still allows the populace to participate in the habit. I think we all admit smoking can be very unhealthy, but nevertheless, I believe if individuals have a desire to smoke they should have every right to do so.

Some anti-smoking activists are of the opinion if people smoke they should pay their own health care. I completely disagree. What about the inhabitants who partake in activities like skiing, snow boarding, skydiving, teen-agers who are under 16 years old riding bicycles without wearing a helmet or the fucking idiots who stunt drive...I think you know where I'm going with this. Anyway, getting back to smoking, the government knows smoking is unwholesome so why doesn't "our caring" politicians ban smoking altogether.

Let's not forget how devious and crafty the group (who state they oppose smoking) can be in true form. It's very obvious the regime has declared war on smoking. They observe it as an evil crime and a national crisis. My E.A. (Executive Assistant) is a smoker and pays $118 (as of Nov. 2018, we all know it will increase) for a carton of Matinee King size cigarettes. Doesn't it daze you how phony the government can be? They say one thing but go against their morals on the flip side.

My E.A. is an avid reader, on an average she'll read one book a week. Her choice of fiction will vary from soft romance to conspiracy thrillers. Some while ago she brought to my attention a book she had just started to read titled "Fire Brand" by Diana Palmer. At the beginning of Diana's book, there was a page titled "Dear Reader" and she was talking about smoking and how it was totally accepted in the past and now it's in the same category as cocaine. What absolutely shocked me was when she said, "these days smoking is so taboo that I'm not even allowed to have a character who smokes in my books". Can you believe this outright insanity?

Smoking affects people in many different ways. I smoked for forty-five years and thoroughly enjoyed it especially drinking a cup of coffee, guzzling beer and after a big meal. I smoked a large (25 cigarettes) pack a day. When I indulged in adult beverages I could be easily up to two packs a day. Finally, my day had arrived. Most mornings I would be coughing, hacking and some times vomiting...at times I thought I was going to pass out...it was very scary. There were a couple of occurrences that motivated me to finally give up the "butts".

I saw a doctor (he was a smoker for thirty-five years) who checked my lungs and breathing and said, "You have to quit smoking. I know it's tough but you have to quit." Sometime later I had a chest x-ray. I was extremely anxious (it was many years ago for my last x-ray) about the final outcome. When I received the results I was surprised and truly relieved and happy...they were negative. That day my smoking was terminated.

My mother (R.I.P. and God rest your soul) started smoking when she was sixteen years old and smoked till the day she died...she was in her ninety-third year. I think you will agree with me when I say back in the early days of our parents and our generation numerous people smoked. It absolutely infuriates me how Hollywood has jumped on the anti-smoking crusade. With movies set in the modern day, the audience will be lucky to see one or two characters smoking. What irritates me, even more, is when I watch movies that are set in the era from 1910-1980 and only twenty-five percent of the individuals are smoking...it isn't true fact or history.

For example, two movies that enter my mind are "Public Enemies", 2009 and "Lawless", 2012. Both of these films were based on true stories, circa the 1930s. In my opinion, not enough people are smoking and therefore takes away the realism from the movie. During those years numerous people smoked...it was part of their everyday lifestyle. So the next time a Vietnam movie is produced maybe we won't see the cigarette packs attached to the soldiers' helmets and out of a platoon of thirty or forty GI's we'll only notice one or two grunts smoking. It's very unworthy Hollywood is attempting to camouflage and hide a part of history.

I've never been a believer in second-hand smoke. For one reason I was brought up in that environment for twenty-five years...both my parents (R.I.P. and God rest your souls) smoked. I know I wasn't the only child to breathe in second-hand smoke. An article in C.B.C. radio Jan. 20/15 titled "Michael's Essay: Exploding the myth that second-hand smoke causes cancer" helps support my view on second-hand smoke is just a tall tale.

The write-up stated on a program called, "As It Happens" an E.P.A. (Environmental Protection Agency) employee was being asked about the harm of second-hand smoke and he/she said, "sure it's crappy science but I look at the outcome - a smoke-free America". The column also mentioned why don't anti-smoking activists stick to the facts instead of alarming everyone with the assertion that passive second-hand smoke causes lung cancer when it clearly doesn't. I would like to see the true, accurate and real statistics of restaurant and bar employees who were exposed to second-hand smoke and contracted any respiratory problems.

Don't you find it hilarious but moreover spineless the government bullying and using their usual extortion techniques making people pay outrageous, ridiculous and inflated prices for tobacco at convenience stores but the Indigenous populace can manufacture and sell their cigarettes at one-sixth of the absurd government price...without a doubt truly gutless and chicken-hearted.

Unquestionably all three levels are making it more annoying and irritating for people to smoke. It's quite similar to the bike lane rubbish automobile drivers have to tolerate with every day. I live in Hamilton, Ontario and find it utterly preposterous that folks can't smoke in parks. I shake my head in disgust...outright vomit. An article in CTV News on Feb. 25/17 said Health Canada wants to ban smoking in apartments, condominiums and post-secondary school campuses and raise the legal age of buying tobacco to twenty-one years old. The government stated tobacco costs $17 billion in health care and indirect economic cost. They also said 37,000 people die annually from smoking-related illnesses. I have a solution...why doesn't the government just ban tobacco?

An article in C.B.C. news on Nov. 21/17 reported Health Canada "calls for" a big tax hike on cigarettes. As of Nov. 21/17 taxes on smokes amounted to 68% but the government said they must raise the tax to 80% to get smoking levels down by 2036. Again, why not outlaw tobacco?

Lastly, C.B.C. news wrote on Nov. 15/17 a study found the smoking of contraband cigarettes increased more in 2017 than in the last four years. L.O.L. I wonder why. I'm assuming when the article referred to contraband that also included the purchases of cigarettes on native reservations. I have another recommendation, prohibit tobacco.

The marijuana "circus" is sure to create great amounts of pandemonium...a real sideshow once it becomes legalized. Originally the government stated that pot could only be smoked inside but later changed that ruling. Our "clever" bureaucrats want to forbid cigarette smoking in apartments but allow weed to be smoked in apartments. They better get their act together.

Epilogue

In my opinion sooner or later individuals will only be allowed to smoke inside their own residences. Smoking in your backyard, car or on the sidewalk will be forbidden. More absurdity and another infringement of our rights. The government is so two-faced I can't help but laugh at them. They constantly sermonize to us like a boisterous evangelist in the southern U.S. preaching to his congregation about the harmful dangers smoking causes. But do they really care? Seriously ask yourself that question. When did government care about anyone except for themselves. The boys and girls in Ottawa are nothing more than unreasonable hypocrites. Politicians, agencies, organizations and advocates all proclaim that smoking tobacco is just as bad as using heroin. Funny heroin is illegal but tobacco isn't. I wonder why? Would it be the caring authority worships and adores their tax money they receive. Would government actually lower themselves to that level? I think most of us know the answer to that question.

The End

The Harvenut Puritan Project

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Thank You for Smoking